I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize