I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
