what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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