Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
