I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
