he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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