Fuck appropriateness.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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