I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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