After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
