Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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