weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
