Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
