I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
