i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
