I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
