Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
