Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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