She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
