i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
