I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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