so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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