heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
