Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So much rum. So many feels.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
