Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
