she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
