If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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