I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just got carded by a ten year old.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
