Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
vagina is talking i cant
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
