I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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