how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
