we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Its about making memories worth repressing
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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