I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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