winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
