First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
