So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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