Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
