I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
