The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize