i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
COCAINE IS GR8
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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