It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize