I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
