In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
