I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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