before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
