And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So apparently I’m into choking now
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
