That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
