I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
