this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
