she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Drake has all the answers
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
