u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
