I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
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