Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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