I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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