It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
