i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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