I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
