we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
