im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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