I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
