Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
