The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
