I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
