is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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