the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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