somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
