All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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