someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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